How exactly does someone in podunk, small town Texas go about angering a 105 pound supermodel in LA?
By making a comment on a blog read by her and a few thousand other people saying that she sucked like a hoover on Dancing with the Stars, that's how.
I know, I know, I'm so freaking funny it hurts.
Her response was witty and well articulated. Exactly the opposite of what you would expect from a supermodel.
She said she always pictured herself as more of a Dyson than a Hoover, cause they have balls. I told her that I totally agreed with her because it takes some serious balls to go on that show.
So either she's mad at me and just being nice, or she has a wicked good sense of humor and knew that I was only trying to be funny.
So here's a public apology to Josie Maran for saying she sucks. SHE doesn't suck, just her dancing ability.
Here is my tree. Sorry for the awful picture. There are so many lights on it that THE FLASH WOULDN'T GO OFF.
Even some of the critters get decked out for the holidays.
All of my knick knacks and breakables had to get put on top of the piano to protect them from the toddler. She really is getting better and this is probably the last year I will have to keep everything important above four feet in the house. Well, that and she just drags a chair over when she can't reach something.
Here is the fireplace in the new house. It isn't the biggest fireplace in the world, but we do live in Texas and if I get to use it ten times, I'm lucky. I'm a little worried that all those stockings are a fire hazard that close to a roaring fire. It's a good thing the hubby is a fireman.
This is my kid-friendly nativity scene that my sister sent me from Austria. I love it now that it is all put together. The first year, we had to put it together just by looking at the picture on the box because the instructions came in German. And I don't habla German.
Even though it's kid friendly, my kids still aren't allowed to put their grubby paws on it. I'm already down one Jesus.
This is my nativity set with my missing Jesus. I put it on top of our antique coke machine. I think it looks pretty goofy here, but it's out of the Tornado's reach, so that's where it stays.
Here's my front door wreath. I saw one like it in Southern Living Magazine and I'm way to cheap to spend $100 on a wreath that I won't use next year. So I went to the craft store and made my own for less than $20. I know, I'm so good it hurts.
So why am I grumpy? Because it's all just going by in a blur. There are just too many things to cram into the month. I have already done something every day this week and there isn't a break anytime soon. I have the Holiday Swim party for the Second in Command's swim team tonight, I have two parties at school tomorrow, and Poker is on Saturday.
I made several batches of cookies last week, but those are long gone. Just ask my waistline that keeps expanding. Good thing I own so many velour sweat suits.
I think it will be good once school lets out tomorrow and we can relax a little bit. We have more cookies to make once we are done with all of our parties. We also make several batches of homemade tamales every Christmas. That is one of our kid's favorite traditions. The eating part, not the making part. It is incredibly time and labor intensive, but when you have an assembly line going, you can sit around and chat and make it a fun time. I'll try to remember to take pictures and post how we make them.
We only have a few days left to finish shopping and cram in our favorite family traditions. It's just not Christmas without Christmas Vacation and Clark Griswold. What are your favorite non-traditional traditions?
Please stop sucking. Is it too much to ask? You are making my life miserable.
Not because I watch your games, or care if you suck. But because when you suck, my husband takes it a little personally. He gets quite upset actually. When you drop a pass, or miss a field goal, my wonderful husband turns into a different person. He emits a string of expletives that would make a sailor blush.
Why does this concern me? Because I have a two year old. A two year old with a rapidly expanding vocabulary. A vocabulary that now contains a few words that no two year old should have in their repertoire.
All I'm asking is that when someone throws the ball to you, catch it. When you kick a field goal, make it. Isn't that what you get paid millions of dollars to do? I get paid nothing, but when someone has a snotty nose, I wipe it. And I do it without dropping the kleenex. Cause I have mad mommy skills. You however, do not have mad football skills.
As for you Tony Romo, get a new job. Preferably one that doesn't involve throwing. Or catching. Or balls of any kind. You obviously can't keep your hands on anything. Including girls. First you had Jessica Simpson (who I thought was kinda skanky) but then you got smart and started dating Carrie Underwood. Did you drop her like so many pass attempts, or did she dump you because she was too embarrassed to say that she was dating you? Either way, you suck.
So to sum things up, I need you to stop dropping balls and missing field goals. I also need you to block better, but I'm not sure if that's going overboard and asking too much. Please, Dallas Cowboys, I'm begging you. I need a happy husband back.
It actually might be in some states, just not the one that Paula Deen lives in. In the course of cooking yesterday, I used almost three pounds of butter.
How does someone use that much butter in one day? I baked several batches of sugar cookies, one double batch of oatmeal cookies and then for dinner, I made homemade chicken and dumplings with another stick of butter.
That's how.
There should be no more wondering why my fat jeans are fitting so well right now. I have three levels of clothing in my closet. I have the fat jeans and sweats, I have my usual clothes and I have my skinny clothes. My skinny clothes are currently packed away in boxes because they kept staring at me every time I went to get dressed. Being mocked by a size 8 pair of jeans gets old fast. I have gone so overboard lately that even my usual clothes are getting too snug to wear comfortably. I still do, but the muffin top isn't pretty.
The really bad thing is, I still have more to make. I make fudge every year, and some peppermint chocolate bark. And since the sugar cookies are already almost gone, I'll have to make another batch. Or two. Or three.
I'm trying not to worry about it, because one week after Christmas is New Years eve. And what's a new years eve without a resolution to lose that holiday weight!
I am finally finishing all my decorating for the holidays. I am usually done before now, but this is the first year in our new house, so we are still trying to find a place for everything. Then when I find a place, I have to move it to keep the Tornado out of it. The husband bought me two beautiful poinsettias for the fireplace and they got moved within 15 minutes. Did you know that poinsettias are poisonous?
We put up the second tree this weekend and after three trips to the store for more lights, I am finally decorating it. I think my husband went a little crazy with the lights, but it looks really pretty with all 2000 lights. I put 1000 on the tree in the kid's game room and thought that was alot, but apparently I was wrong.
We put up two trees because I like to put up all the assorted decorations on one tree and all the very fancy, color coordinated decorations on my tree. MY tree? yep. The kids don't help decorate it and if they catch me in a bad mood, they get in trouble for even looking at it. It's how I appease my inner control freak.
My husband likes real trees and I have a really nice artificial, so we compromise and put both kinds up. I love coming into the house and smelling the fragrant pine tree. It is strong enough that it almost masks the odor that is generated by four teenage boys. It's an odor that no amount of Febreeze can mask. If sneakers start to get too offensive, they must stay outside. Too bad I can't do the same with the teenage boys.
We are hosting the swim team Christmas party next week, so I have a deadline that will hopefully light a fire under me. Sometimes I need a deadline to motivate me. Once we get through the holidays, I will have a six month deadline to shed those pounds I keep complaining about. This coming summer I have my 20 year high school reunion.
Once I finish everything, I will post some pictures. For now, I'm going to light a fire in the fireplace, pour another cup of coffee and finish trimming the tree. However you celebrate this season, I hope it is filled with joy. Merry Christmas!
Today is Music Monday at Keeping up with the Kellys. Today's theme is to pick a song from the first concert you ever went to, but for me, that was the Monkees and no one, not even me wants to sit through one of those songs this morning.
Anyway, when I heard this song on the radio for the first time this weekend, I got so excited and I just couldn't wait till monday just so I could post it. As soon as I heard it, I thought of you Tara! Not cause I think you are a hillbilly, but just because of your Music Monday.
I, however, have Hillbilly down deep in my veins. Just this weekend at my girl party, my friend started asking me about my Hillbilly fireplace tools. When we moved into the new house, I insisted that we sell the fireplace tools because I wanted gas logs in the new house. We haven't managed to pick out a set we like yet, and I was bound and determined to have a fire in the fireplace this weekend. So the husband dutifully hauls over the wood for me. My only predicament now is that I have no tools to manage my fire. Being the resourceful girl that I am, I dug out some really big grilling tongs and a giant spatula and, viola, fireplace tools. Yes, I will scrub them really thoroughly before I use them on food again, but they definitely worked in a pinch.
So I am being a rebel today and not sticking to Tara's first concert theme. (You are welcome) So please enjoy my new favorite song and if you have a hillbilly bone down deep inside, please share in a comment so that I feel a little less hick today.
It snowed today, can you believe it? It only snowed for about an hour and none of it stuck, but they closed down a couple of schools and some extracurricular activities. That's Texas. We don't know how to drive on this stuff, so they go to extremes to avoid it. My kids are pretty ticked off that they still had school today, but all the teachers let them go outside and play in it for a bit.
That's pretty sad when a few snow flurries cause this much excitement. Of course I took the Tornado outside and took some photos while it was coming down. The Lone Ranger is gone to Kansas for the weekend on a hunting trip, so I promised him I would send him some pictures of her in the snow on his Iphone. She stood in it for all of 45 seconds before she said she wanted to go back inside. She's just like her mommy, can't stand the cold. Yankees call it thin skinned, I think.
It's supposed to warm back up tomorrow, but I have plenty of wood to make myself a fire. It won't be quite as romantic since I'll be solo this weekend. I have some friends coming over tomorrow night for a girl get together. We have a massage therapist coming to do table massages and a couple of bottles of wine. The husband is a little worried, but I don't think we'll get in too much trouble. How much trouble can 7 ladies with 12 bottles of wine get into?
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. It was a good day, flowers and ballons, dinner alone with the husband and Christmas shopping for the kids. I'm easy to please.
Yes, I am unveiling the annual photo with Santa with the whole herd.
TA DA!
I know, you just couldn't have gotten through your day without finally seeing it. For those of you on my Christmas card list, you will be receiving your very own copy of it. Try to contain your excitement.
While I was unpacking all my Christmas decorations, I realized that I still can't find the baby Jesus from one of my nativity sets. I don't know how he got lost, but he is. Last year, I checked several stores to see if I could buy just Jesus, but the only ones I found were almost life size and I only need one about an inch long. So for now, Mary, Joseph and the wise men all stare at an empty cradle.
It for me is a symbol of what Christmas seems to have become. An empty cradle and people all dressed up, bearing gifts. I don't want to rob my kids of the thrill of waking up on Christmas morning and seeing all the goodies that Santa brought, but I would love to find a way to put Christ back in Christmas. This morning I read the following article from Dave Ramsey
No matter what your budget is this Christmas, remember to be thankful. Take a deep breath in the middle of all this craziness.
You might have a lot. You might have a little. If you are driving a beater, be thankful for that beater. You would rather drive that than walk, wouldn't you? There is always something to be thankful for.
That's what contentment is all about. When you understand and really grasp contentment, it becomes easier to save money and invest. Stress slowly disappears. Budgeting is easier. Relationships improve.
Be happy with what you have. More than three billion people, almost half the world, live on $2.50 a day. Sometimes we need a little perspective to become content with our current situation.
Without contentment, it's easy to be bitter and apathetic. Happiness is sold to us, especially during this time of year. We think if we can just get one more piece of stuff that "true" happiness will be right around the corner.
We say things like, "I'll be happy when I get that house!" or "I'll be happy when I get that new car!" But happiness cannot be bought. Sure fun—in the form of a house, a car, a new LCD television—can be bought, but fun is temporary. True happiness, or contentment, is lasting.
You can get out of debt, save money, and get on a budget, but until you realize that stuff doesn’t bring contentment, you will always feel stressed and unhappy. Contentment brings peace. And isn’t this time of year about bringing "peace on earth and good will toward men"?
Remember what this deal is all about. It's not about trees, lights, gifts, baked hams, and shopping malls. It’s about a little child who was born in a manger and grew up to die on a cross. It’s about peace on earth and good will toward men.
So if the Christmas frenzy is wearing you out, you've missed the point of Christmas. Make a plan with your money, and make a plan to get back in touch with the true meaning of this special day.
You are invited to Dave's Give Like No One Else Christmas at DaveRamsey.com. Daily giveaways and great articles will make you want to check back every day to see what's new.
For now, I think I'll leave the manger empty. It will hopefully remind me to fill it up every day in other ways. Cause even though I'm leaving it empty, I still need Jesus.
The icky germs started on Sunday. It began with a fever and aches and progressed to snotty nose and pounding headache. The two older girls were gone on their cruise with the sperm donor and the husband left with three of the boys to go hunting. It left me home alone with the Tornado and my second in command. He still had swim practice this week, even though it was a holiday, so he had to hang around with mom. I'm so glad I had him around, too. I don't think I could have managed without him. He helped feed and tame the Tornado, brought me pills and fluids and kept me company without complaint. Line up your teenage daughters, ladies, I'm raising this boy right.
By Wednesday afternoon, I was now on the verge of being comatose on the couch. The boys returned victoriously from their hunting trip, sent me to bed and began Thanksgiving dinner preparations. My husband single handedly cooked Thanksgiving dinner. On Thursday, I managed to get up long enough to get a shower and eat a small plate of food before returning to bed. I began feeling better that night, but a migraine took over and for the next several days I vacillated between wishing the sun would burn out so that the bright light squeezing between the slats of the blinds would vanish, or gouging out my eyes with the knitting needles I never use.
My mom came into town on Saturday and convinced my grandmother to come too, so I was really glad that I was feeling better and that the migraine had finally dimmed to a tolerable level. On Sunday, my wonderful husband made a pork roast because everyone was getting really tired of leftover Turkey.
Even though I slept through most of the holiday week, I still have plenty to be thankful for.
First, I'm thankful that I'm finally feeling better. I'm thankful I got to see family and that my girls are back home, safe and sound. I'm thankful that not only did I not gain those extra Thanksgiving pounds, I seem to have actually lost a couple. I'm thankful that we are spending our first Holiday in our new home. I'm thankful that I'm half way done with Christmas shopping and I am not totally broke yet. I'm thankful that tomorrow is our annual tradition of the family photo with Santa. Lastly, I'm thankful that I have such a wonderful family. I can't imagine my life without every single one of our kids. I have been blessed with wonderful parents that showed me the importance of family.
My beautiful grandmother and mom, me and my girls. Definitely something to be thankful for!
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